The one where I probably say too much

So it's true we are trying on R&R. I realize it's a LONG SHOT and my husband knows I'm not putting all my excitement eggs in the R&R basket but it is what we BOTH want. We have been married for a little shy of 2 years now and well not for lack of trying but I haven't been pregnant in over a year so even though we had the 2 back to back baby losses we (I) feel my body has had time to rest and heal and plus R&R is more than 1/2 way through the whole thing so he really wouldn't miss much if it happened. We canceled Christmas and have been saving money since rumor is whoever took over Tricare overseas in September is very ridiculous and all prescriptions needed to be paid for upfront and then reimbursed (you use to be able to go to the Tricare office and they would give you something to go to the pharmacy in town and it still be no charge)I digress so we had been saving since one of the meds could cost 450-900 euro depending on if I needed 1 or 2 (with todays exchange rate that is $590-$1180) and I was told to go into the Dr XX amount of days before the man was home and decided to go a day early to give Tricare one more day to reimburse us (draining savings means my husband doesn't have as much fun during R&R if reimbursement doesn't come on time that alone almost made me veto us trying but he wouldn't have it and wanted to try and is fine with snuggling his whole R&R.)

Well this morning 0545 came way to early and I was on my way to my appt and yes even though all my eggs aren't in the basket I am still a Romantic and a Dreamer and was hoping for an outcome that was similar to the scenario (dream) I had in my head. All hope is not lost but my scenario is. Apparently losing 35 lbs and being way too close to my next medically induced cycle my Dr has gone a new direction which if it works will save us a grip of money but if not I go back to him 3 days before the man is set to come home meaning guess what we will not be reimbursed in time for his R&R (the only time I got a script off post I just payed out of pocket and it took a month and we lost money due to exchange rate) that plain sucks and My bubble has been officially busted. My husband tells me I'm a negative thinker these days but I think positive scenarios in my head and just don't state them out loud not everyone else needs to be hyped up and let down on my scenarios along with me right?

I'll be okay it's just another letdown or amazing story one day either way I'm getting pretty use to things not working out the way I would Love them too and another day I wish My man was home.

Keeping Calm and Soldiering on to the best of ability